Well this stinks. Seems my bladder is not doing well these days. So that I have a record of it, here's the timeline/run down:
Friday, Apr. 11 - started feeling BAD (18 1/2 weeks)
Wednesday, Apr. 16 - couldn't stand it anymore, and saw Dr. Boone. I have fairly consistently done better in the mornings and worse in the afternoons, so I didn't suspect a UTI. However, she told me I had one and was sending it for a culture. I took 48 hrs worth (4 doses) of Macrobid before the culture came back negative on Friday and I stopped the antibiotics. At the appt., she also did an ultrasound to be sure I'm emptying properly, which I am.
Saturday - BAD day...Sunday - good day...Monday - bad day...Tuesday - bad, but little better, day...Wednesday - good day...
Monday, Apr. 21 - went back to see what could be done for my symptoms since we ruled out a UTI. She's given me Urelle and Tylenol-3 to try (cleared with my OB) and I think I'll definitely be using them during our road trip tomorrow to Charleston. Again, my urine looked suspicious (showed lucosites? sp?) and they cultured it again.
Thursday, Apr. 24 (today!) - got results that culture is positive for infection so I'm going on a full 7-day course of Macrobid this time. I hate that it makes me nauseaus but I hope that it helps to alleviate some of the symptoms I'm having. Whatever this is is probably a mild infection since I've had good and bad days throughout the past 2 weeks.
I've also found a friend on the IC network that I've been exchanging emails with which has been nice. She's due in October and has had a very similar IC history, although she has some other issues like fibromyalgia and gastroparesis. It does help to have someone to talk to who is going through some of the same things.
Michael's been doing great - did I even post about the big ultrasound at 18w4d?? He looks perfect and was weighing in at 9 oz that day. He kicks up a storm most days and I am getting so excited to have him in my arms soon. Only 4 1/2 months to go!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Friday, April 4, 2008
Swimming and Kicking
It's official! What I've suspected for about two weeks as possible baby movement is now DEFINITELY baby movement. I've also been feeling what could be minor Braxton Hicks contractions...or maybe bladder spasms? I don't know.
I'll be 18 weeks on Monday so I guess I started suspecting tiny movements in my 16th week. Now it feels like tiny taps inside, only really noticable when I'm sitting quietly. I'm sure if someone walked by my office just a minute ago, they'd wonder why I'm staring off into space in a trance. Just concentrating and smiling!! It's such an awesome feeling. This is what makes me sad for anyone, man or woman, who can't carry a child. There's just nothing to describe it and it makes my enjoyment a little bittersweet.
My nausea has been so much better lately, although I still have icky evenings and times when I get a big wave. I'd say that week 16 was a big turning point. My bladder has been pretty okay, too, but I would not say that I'm in remission by any means. I still notice a difference when I eat something I shouldn't and I'm still religious about taking my Elmiron. My hope is beginning to run out that I'll have a true remission, but I guess you never know.
We've been working on redoing Ella's room in pink and brown, celebrating the transition to her queen sized bed. It's starting to look good and she's doing so well! I can't believe how grown up she's becoming.
The nursery is coming along great as well. Wes is working on finishing painting today and I've been slowly bringing in things like hampers, bookshelves and throw pillows. I really do love this part of planning. But I think it's getting too expensive!
We have our "big" ultrasound next Thursday and I really can't wait to go. Our blood test and NT scan revealed very low risk factors for things like Down Syndrome, and that has given me some confidence, but I know I'll be a bit nervous while they do the ultrasound.
Hunger pains are kicking in...I'm gaining so much weight! The scale had me up almost 10 pounds this morning which I'm refusing to believe. I was 3 pounds less at the beginning of the week so I'm going to hold onto that. In the meantime, I had my breakfast sandwich without cheese and I might be skipping the tortellini in cream sauce I had my eye on for lunch. Ha!
I'll be 18 weeks on Monday so I guess I started suspecting tiny movements in my 16th week. Now it feels like tiny taps inside, only really noticable when I'm sitting quietly. I'm sure if someone walked by my office just a minute ago, they'd wonder why I'm staring off into space in a trance. Just concentrating and smiling!! It's such an awesome feeling. This is what makes me sad for anyone, man or woman, who can't carry a child. There's just nothing to describe it and it makes my enjoyment a little bittersweet.
My nausea has been so much better lately, although I still have icky evenings and times when I get a big wave. I'd say that week 16 was a big turning point. My bladder has been pretty okay, too, but I would not say that I'm in remission by any means. I still notice a difference when I eat something I shouldn't and I'm still religious about taking my Elmiron. My hope is beginning to run out that I'll have a true remission, but I guess you never know.
We've been working on redoing Ella's room in pink and brown, celebrating the transition to her queen sized bed. It's starting to look good and she's doing so well! I can't believe how grown up she's becoming.
The nursery is coming along great as well. Wes is working on finishing painting today and I've been slowly bringing in things like hampers, bookshelves and throw pillows. I really do love this part of planning. But I think it's getting too expensive!
We have our "big" ultrasound next Thursday and I really can't wait to go. Our blood test and NT scan revealed very low risk factors for things like Down Syndrome, and that has given me some confidence, but I know I'll be a bit nervous while they do the ultrasound.
Hunger pains are kicking in...I'm gaining so much weight! The scale had me up almost 10 pounds this morning which I'm refusing to believe. I was 3 pounds less at the beginning of the week so I'm going to hold onto that. In the meantime, I had my breakfast sandwich without cheese and I might be skipping the tortellini in cream sauce I had my eye on for lunch. Ha!
Monday, March 17, 2008
The Official First Trimester Tally
In retrospect, I would definitely say this first three months went more smoothly than with Ella. The sickness hit both times at 5 1/2 weeks, and this time, it began getting a little better after 10, then 12 and then 14 weeks. I'm 15 weeks today and I'm hopeful it will get even better in the next few weeks.
I spend large portions of the day with no sickness at all, but there are still pockets where I feel pretty yucky - the evenings are still the worst, too. I'm gaining some weight now. This morning I was at 143.5 and I started somewhere around 139, I think. I'm also officially "showing" and people are guessing that I'm pregnant these days. It's so amazing how much more quickly it happened this time.
My bladder has good moments and bad, but still no signs of remission. I pray for it every night. The constipation (oh, the horrid constipation) cannot be helping much. Also on the symptom list is some back pain, lots of breast pain and fatigue. Only six more months to go, right?!
Maybe someday soon I'll feel the little guy move around in there. I'm really looking forward to that day. At our NT scan at 13 1/2 weeks, the u/s tech was "reasonably sure" it's a boy and since I've had such a strong feeling myself about having a boy, I'm confident she's right. We'll find out for sure in five weeks, though.
I started back at work on March 10 (well, really the few days before that since I was helping with the SMM) and so far, it's been fine. I'm doing okay getting up in the morning, though I'm not exactly in here at 6:30 a.m. yet. Actually, this morning it was hard to wake up. We moved Ella to a "toddler" bed (her crib, but with the conversion rail) and she fell out three times. After that, I put her matress on the floor and the rest of the night went much better. She landed on pillows so she's fine, but I had to go in and soothe her each time. I'm now looking into toddler bed rails and we'll probably just move her into the queen sized bed next weekend.
That's all I have time for right now...I'll work on posting more soon.
I spend large portions of the day with no sickness at all, but there are still pockets where I feel pretty yucky - the evenings are still the worst, too. I'm gaining some weight now. This morning I was at 143.5 and I started somewhere around 139, I think. I'm also officially "showing" and people are guessing that I'm pregnant these days. It's so amazing how much more quickly it happened this time.
My bladder has good moments and bad, but still no signs of remission. I pray for it every night. The constipation (oh, the horrid constipation) cannot be helping much. Also on the symptom list is some back pain, lots of breast pain and fatigue. Only six more months to go, right?!
Maybe someday soon I'll feel the little guy move around in there. I'm really looking forward to that day. At our NT scan at 13 1/2 weeks, the u/s tech was "reasonably sure" it's a boy and since I've had such a strong feeling myself about having a boy, I'm confident she's right. We'll find out for sure in five weeks, though.
I started back at work on March 10 (well, really the few days before that since I was helping with the SMM) and so far, it's been fine. I'm doing okay getting up in the morning, though I'm not exactly in here at 6:30 a.m. yet. Actually, this morning it was hard to wake up. We moved Ella to a "toddler" bed (her crib, but with the conversion rail) and she fell out three times. After that, I put her matress on the floor and the rest of the night went much better. She landed on pillows so she's fine, but I had to go in and soothe her each time. I'm now looking into toddler bed rails and we'll probably just move her into the queen sized bed next weekend.
That's all I have time for right now...I'll work on posting more soon.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Still In It - Is There Light Out There?
Today we're 11w2d and I'm having a better day today. The last two evenings were awful, so I'm feeling quite grateful! Is there a light at the end of this nausea tunnel yet? Puhleeze?? I'm guessing I have less than a month of this left. It can't go by fast enough.
In general, I'd say my IC has been better the last week. I'm holding out hope that I will still go into remission but in the meantime, I'm taking my Elmiron and praying a lot. My breasts are still incredibly sore and you wouldn't believe the tummy that has popped out on me. I can't believe it's here so soon! I had to go get a couple of pairs of maternity jeans today. They are blissful.
I took Ella over last weekend to Dallas and we did some maternity shopping there, too. There are some really cute things out there and it gives me a reason to shop which is great. The trip was fun, but exhausting. I was not feeling well a lot of the time and not having Wes around to help "parent" Ella was draining. I really appreciate all that he does to take some of the burden off of me, especially in the evenings.
Next weekend we're going to visit Matt and Amy and it should be easier since all three of us will be going. I just hope flights are running on time and it's not too terribly freezing!
Another big thing going on is that I'm having trouble getting a doctor to sign off on my leave of absence so I may be going back to work next week. I'm not sure I'm well enough to do that but I won't have a choice since I'm going to lose my pay and benefits otherwise. I have an appointment Friday with my new OB's office to determine what they'll do. I seriously will cry if they don't sign off. It's just going to be a struggle to be in the office every day until I'm over the worst of this nausea.
In general, I'd say my IC has been better the last week. I'm holding out hope that I will still go into remission but in the meantime, I'm taking my Elmiron and praying a lot. My breasts are still incredibly sore and you wouldn't believe the tummy that has popped out on me. I can't believe it's here so soon! I had to go get a couple of pairs of maternity jeans today. They are blissful.
I took Ella over last weekend to Dallas and we did some maternity shopping there, too. There are some really cute things out there and it gives me a reason to shop which is great. The trip was fun, but exhausting. I was not feeling well a lot of the time and not having Wes around to help "parent" Ella was draining. I really appreciate all that he does to take some of the burden off of me, especially in the evenings.
Next weekend we're going to visit Matt and Amy and it should be easier since all three of us will be going. I just hope flights are running on time and it's not too terribly freezing!
Another big thing going on is that I'm having trouble getting a doctor to sign off on my leave of absence so I may be going back to work next week. I'm not sure I'm well enough to do that but I won't have a choice since I'm going to lose my pay and benefits otherwise. I have an appointment Friday with my new OB's office to determine what they'll do. I seriously will cry if they don't sign off. It's just going to be a struggle to be in the office every day until I'm over the worst of this nausea.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Mind the Gap
I guess I'll start by apologizing to myself for not posting for a while! How am I supposed to remember each week if I don't post each week. Magic, I suppose. Anyway, I'll do a (quickish) update while Ella is entranced with Sesame Street. The last couple of weeks have been a bit crazy.
First, how am I feeling? Well I'm 9w5d, and I think my nausea has been improving the past few days. The evenings starting around dinnertime are still quite hard, but I'm feeling pretty okay during the day - maybe hovering around a 4 on the 10-point scale? I still have sore boobs, not nearly as much cramping, lots of breaking out, fatigue and my bladder's not been well at all. I'm mostly upset about that last part. Starting yesterday, I'm doing my very best to get 3 Elmiron doses in a day to see if that starts to help in a month or so. I'm taking 2 at once before lunch and 1 in the mid-afternoon. It's just so hard to go more than an hour or two without eating since it makes my nausea so much worse.
I had been working from home which was working out fine, but then Home Depot had a big lay off. My entire team got cut and I probably would have gone, too, but Brad created my old projects job again to keep me. So the bad news is I no longer have a team and this is a job I did two year ago, but the good news is I'm still employed. Sort of. The day after the announcement, they asked me to stop working from home and go on a leave of absence until I'm able to get in the office full-time. So. I'm at home with no job right now. Not bad, really, but I'm not feeling very productive. I have a lot of projects I need to get done around here, though, so I'm going to concentrate on those things before feeling pressured to go back to my job. Mostly, I need to get our 2007 family movie done, taxes completed, and a few other things. Last week I managed to get our Manning Homes brochure content 95% done and off to Michele to do the artwork. She's pregnant too and is about three weeks ahead of me - I'm very excited for her!
I think I may also work in a quick trip to Texas and maybe one up to New Jersey while I'm out. Honestly I get 90 days paid leave and there's not a huge rush to get back, aside from not wanting to take advantage of the company. They don't even have work for me to do right now so there's nothing waiting on me. I bet I'll be feeling better and will head back in 3-4 weeks. We'll see.
First, how am I feeling? Well I'm 9w5d, and I think my nausea has been improving the past few days. The evenings starting around dinnertime are still quite hard, but I'm feeling pretty okay during the day - maybe hovering around a 4 on the 10-point scale? I still have sore boobs, not nearly as much cramping, lots of breaking out, fatigue and my bladder's not been well at all. I'm mostly upset about that last part. Starting yesterday, I'm doing my very best to get 3 Elmiron doses in a day to see if that starts to help in a month or so. I'm taking 2 at once before lunch and 1 in the mid-afternoon. It's just so hard to go more than an hour or two without eating since it makes my nausea so much worse.
I had been working from home which was working out fine, but then Home Depot had a big lay off. My entire team got cut and I probably would have gone, too, but Brad created my old projects job again to keep me. So the bad news is I no longer have a team and this is a job I did two year ago, but the good news is I'm still employed. Sort of. The day after the announcement, they asked me to stop working from home and go on a leave of absence until I'm able to get in the office full-time. So. I'm at home with no job right now. Not bad, really, but I'm not feeling very productive. I have a lot of projects I need to get done around here, though, so I'm going to concentrate on those things before feeling pressured to go back to my job. Mostly, I need to get our 2007 family movie done, taxes completed, and a few other things. Last week I managed to get our Manning Homes brochure content 95% done and off to Michele to do the artwork. She's pregnant too and is about three weeks ahead of me - I'm very excited for her!
I think I may also work in a quick trip to Texas and maybe one up to New Jersey while I'm out. Honestly I get 90 days paid leave and there's not a huge rush to get back, aside from not wanting to take advantage of the company. They don't even have work for me to do right now so there's nothing waiting on me. I bet I'll be feeling better and will head back in 3-4 weeks. We'll see.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Hanging In There
Here I am. 7w4 or 5d. And still making it. In fact, I haven't thrown up in nearly a full week and I've been able to eat a reasonable amount every day, even if it is hard to get down most of the time. All in all, this has been fine. My biggest fears are that I'm heading into the hardest weeks, but I have to keep pushing those thoughts back, reminding myself that I need to just take it one day at a time. There's no law that says it has to get worse. This could be pretty much it and then I may start getting some relief in a few weeks. I really hope so. Either way, all I can do is keep my head up and power through each day.
Aside from the constant nausea, which for the record's sake is worse in the evenings, but better mid-morning through early afternoon, I have a few other symptoms. I still have a lot of tenderness in my breasts, and my face is breaking out - possibly the worst it ever has in my entire life. I started using benzoyle peroxide (doc recommended as safe) two nights ago and I'm already seeing a little improvement. I'm also very tired and have been having some stomach upset. That last part makes me wonder if my body is just over-reacting to foods that would normally be fine. It's not constant, but does come and go. Two things that do make me happy is knowing I can still read at night and can even turn on my side a little when sleeping. I remember not being able to do either with Ella because the nausea was so bad.
My bladder has been bothering me somewhat, but it's not terrible and I'm trying to not get very excited about it. The problem is finding times during the day to take my Elmiron. I know I need to keep trying, though.
Aside from the pregnancy, there's been a lot of other things going on. Kate was diagnosed with diabetes last week and it really caught us all off guard. Amy and Matt are learning a lot every day and it seems they are doing well adjusting to the new routines. Granny also spent a few nights in the hospital but they were not able to determine what was causing some numbness in her arms. They sent her home with a clean bill of health and we're hopeful she'll continue to do well.
On a brighter note, Molly starts a new job on Monday. We're all very excited for her.
Well, it's about time to go pick up Ella from school. Gotta run.
Aside from the constant nausea, which for the record's sake is worse in the evenings, but better mid-morning through early afternoon, I have a few other symptoms. I still have a lot of tenderness in my breasts, and my face is breaking out - possibly the worst it ever has in my entire life. I started using benzoyle peroxide (doc recommended as safe) two nights ago and I'm already seeing a little improvement. I'm also very tired and have been having some stomach upset. That last part makes me wonder if my body is just over-reacting to foods that would normally be fine. It's not constant, but does come and go. Two things that do make me happy is knowing I can still read at night and can even turn on my side a little when sleeping. I remember not being able to do either with Ella because the nausea was so bad.
My bladder has been bothering me somewhat, but it's not terrible and I'm trying to not get very excited about it. The problem is finding times during the day to take my Elmiron. I know I need to keep trying, though.
Aside from the pregnancy, there's been a lot of other things going on. Kate was diagnosed with diabetes last week and it really caught us all off guard. Amy and Matt are learning a lot every day and it seems they are doing well adjusting to the new routines. Granny also spent a few nights in the hospital but they were not able to determine what was causing some numbness in her arms. They sent her home with a clean bill of health and we're hopeful she'll continue to do well.
On a brighter note, Molly starts a new job on Monday. We're all very excited for her.
Well, it's about time to go pick up Ella from school. Gotta run.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Officially In the Thick of It
What a week. Starting around 9 p.m. on Monday, I began feeling very ill. I was up on the couch all night, and vomited between 3 and 4 a.m. I was also having terrible stomach cramps and called the doctor first thing after they opened at 8:30. They got me in for an early OB work up since I was so ill, which was nice. I got my first ultrasound where Peanut measured 6w2d (I think I was really 6w1d) with a heartbeat of 107 BPM. It was wonderful to see.
So far, Tuesday has proven to be my toughest day. Wednesday through Friday were easier, and Glenn and Sandy came down to help out. Last night ended up being quite rough again - dry heaving at 5 a.m. is not my idea of a good time - but I'm doing better right now. Ella and I are pretending to blow bubbles and watching Dora while Wes gets some sleep. Apparently some one who thought they were dying was keeping him up all night. Oops.
My mom is flying in today and staying until Wednesday and I'm really grateful. I think it's going to make these next 7 weeks or so a lot easier to handle if Wes has help with Ella and I have company around to keep myself out of my own head. So far, I think I'm managing okay without too much anxiety or panic. It's definitely a daily focus to stay calm and just control what I can and ride out the rest.
I'm officially working from home for the time being and my team is really helping to pitch in where they can. If I need to, I know I can just go on LOA, but I really would like to avoid that. I have to remind myself that even with Ella, I never was hospitalized for dehydration, I lost less than 12 pounds, and if the anxiety hadn't gotten so bad, I think I would have been in much better shape around 14 weeks as opposed to suffering through until past 20 weeks. I think I have better tools to manage myself this time around and I'll keep focused on the fact that every day that passes is one less I have to make it through. Soon enough, I'll be eating with an appetite again, going out with friends and enjoying my favorite part of pregnancy - those little flutters and kicks.
I'm going to make it just fine. One day at a time.
So far, Tuesday has proven to be my toughest day. Wednesday through Friday were easier, and Glenn and Sandy came down to help out. Last night ended up being quite rough again - dry heaving at 5 a.m. is not my idea of a good time - but I'm doing better right now. Ella and I are pretending to blow bubbles and watching Dora while Wes gets some sleep. Apparently some one who thought they were dying was keeping him up all night. Oops.
My mom is flying in today and staying until Wednesday and I'm really grateful. I think it's going to make these next 7 weeks or so a lot easier to handle if Wes has help with Ella and I have company around to keep myself out of my own head. So far, I think I'm managing okay without too much anxiety or panic. It's definitely a daily focus to stay calm and just control what I can and ride out the rest.
I'm officially working from home for the time being and my team is really helping to pitch in where they can. If I need to, I know I can just go on LOA, but I really would like to avoid that. I have to remind myself that even with Ella, I never was hospitalized for dehydration, I lost less than 12 pounds, and if the anxiety hadn't gotten so bad, I think I would have been in much better shape around 14 weeks as opposed to suffering through until past 20 weeks. I think I have better tools to manage myself this time around and I'll keep focused on the fact that every day that passes is one less I have to make it through. Soon enough, I'll be eating with an appetite again, going out with friends and enjoying my favorite part of pregnancy - those little flutters and kicks.
I'm going to make it just fine. One day at a time.
Monday, January 14, 2008
A Tough Morning
Today, oddly enough, started off better than yesterday morning. But at 10:30 a.m., I can clearly say it is now worse than yesterday at this time. My weekend went by fairly well; Wes and I had a date night on Saturday and saw Juno which was hilarious. While I was feeling a bit icky all day yesterday, I was able to keep my head up pretty well and ate throughout the day.
This morning, I took my Zofran right away at 5 a.m. and am either grateful that it has kept me from vomiting so far, or am frustrated that it's not helping more. I made it into work by 7:10 and did end up telling my boss the big news. It makes me feel a little better not to have to fake it at least with him. I'm sure I'll end up telling my team by the end of the week if this keeps up, but I'm hopeful today is just a bad day and my body will adjust a bit.
I knew I would be here, and I'm still hopeful that I'll get through this better than last time. I do know I can handle it and I've got all kinds of help: my family, experience, doctors, faith. If I had to bet on it, I would say the next 4-8 weeks will be the toughest and then I think I'll start getting better. I can do this for 8 weeks. Maybe longer if I need to. God has blessed us with this baby and he'll hold my hand to see me through the hard parts of bringing Peanut home.
Little by little, one walks far. Peruvian Proverb
This morning, I took my Zofran right away at 5 a.m. and am either grateful that it has kept me from vomiting so far, or am frustrated that it's not helping more. I made it into work by 7:10 and did end up telling my boss the big news. It makes me feel a little better not to have to fake it at least with him. I'm sure I'll end up telling my team by the end of the week if this keeps up, but I'm hopeful today is just a bad day and my body will adjust a bit.
I knew I would be here, and I'm still hopeful that I'll get through this better than last time. I do know I can handle it and I've got all kinds of help: my family, experience, doctors, faith. If I had to bet on it, I would say the next 4-8 weeks will be the toughest and then I think I'll start getting better. I can do this for 8 weeks. Maybe longer if I need to. God has blessed us with this baby and he'll hold my hand to see me through the hard parts of bringing Peanut home.
Little by little, one walks far. Peruvian Proverb
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Please, Oh Please, Dear Zofran
Uh-oh, it's happened. M/s found me for real yesterday. Grrr. I had a couple bad "waves" at book club, then it was not fun all night. I also had night sweats and insomnia - not sure I slept after 2:30 a.m. BUT, I was able to nibble on some animal crackers and took my Zofran this morning to hopefully keep this under control before it gets out of hand. I really don't want to have to tell work about being pg yet, but if I can't get my happy butt in here by at least 7 a.m., I'll have to crack. I'm staying positive, though! I realize that the bad comes with the good and I won't be pregnant forever.
Right?
I had my first OB appointment yesterday. Wes came with me, after we met for lunch, and while we were waiting for the PA to come in, I was having a hot flash. Once she was in there, it came on ten times as bad and I swear I was sweating BUCKETS!!! I was horrified that this woman now had to give me a breast exam, feel my belly and do an internal exam/PAP. Gross!!!!! I was laughing and said how embarrassed I was and of course, she was very reassuring and said not to worry about it...but YUCK!!! I'm sure she was howling with the nurses after I left. I hate hormones!!
So that was the embarrasing part. The other details are they said I was 5w3d yesterday, but with a EDD one day later. Essentially, the little "wheel" they use says a pregnancy is 2 days longer than every calendar I've ever found online. So I'm sticking with the fact I'm 5w3d today, and hopefully that will line up with my dates on the u/s I'm having on the 24th. I can't wait! I should be far enough along to see a heartbeat then.
The PA was funny, too - she "asked" me to lie and say my last period was strange so she could order an early u/s. Otherwise, I'd have to wait until 20 weeks. NO WAY, Jose. I can hardly make it 14 days, let alone 14 weeks!!
Book club went better than I thought. I figured there was a fairly good chance someone would ask if I was expecting. My "ready" answer would be "not unless you know something I don't!". I was hoping to be able to say that with a straight face, but no one ended up asking. I blamed my not drinking on having a bad bladder day, and I guess no one felt compelled to challenge me.
I was just able to eat a normal breakfast, which was encouraging. I'm hoping the Zofran is doing its job and will continue to do so. I plan on taking it twice a day for as long as I can before upping it to three times a day.
Last night, I was definitely having some anxiety about the onset of nausea - racing heart, not able to fall asleep, insomnia - and I realize I will have to work very hard to stay relaxed throughout this pregnancy. I'm sure I'll be consulting my little green book of happy thoughts often. I think it makes me more anxious to think about how my job is not something I can easily take leave from, and that I have so many responsibilities with Manning Homes that Wes can't take over for me. Heck, he's got his hands full taking care of Ella and the house. I'm sure it will all work out, though, and if I need to take leave, I will. I'll figure out how to cross that bridge when it's in front of me.
For now, I'm feeling fairly okay (maybe a 2-3 on the 10 scale) and that I can live with just fine.
Right?
I had my first OB appointment yesterday. Wes came with me, after we met for lunch, and while we were waiting for the PA to come in, I was having a hot flash. Once she was in there, it came on ten times as bad and I swear I was sweating BUCKETS!!! I was horrified that this woman now had to give me a breast exam, feel my belly and do an internal exam/PAP. Gross!!!!! I was laughing and said how embarrassed I was and of course, she was very reassuring and said not to worry about it...but YUCK!!! I'm sure she was howling with the nurses after I left. I hate hormones!!
So that was the embarrasing part. The other details are they said I was 5w3d yesterday, but with a EDD one day later. Essentially, the little "wheel" they use says a pregnancy is 2 days longer than every calendar I've ever found online. So I'm sticking with the fact I'm 5w3d today, and hopefully that will line up with my dates on the u/s I'm having on the 24th. I can't wait! I should be far enough along to see a heartbeat then.
The PA was funny, too - she "asked" me to lie and say my last period was strange so she could order an early u/s. Otherwise, I'd have to wait until 20 weeks. NO WAY, Jose. I can hardly make it 14 days, let alone 14 weeks!!
Book club went better than I thought. I figured there was a fairly good chance someone would ask if I was expecting. My "ready" answer would be "not unless you know something I don't!". I was hoping to be able to say that with a straight face, but no one ended up asking. I blamed my not drinking on having a bad bladder day, and I guess no one felt compelled to challenge me.
I was just able to eat a normal breakfast, which was encouraging. I'm hoping the Zofran is doing its job and will continue to do so. I plan on taking it twice a day for as long as I can before upping it to three times a day.
Last night, I was definitely having some anxiety about the onset of nausea - racing heart, not able to fall asleep, insomnia - and I realize I will have to work very hard to stay relaxed throughout this pregnancy. I'm sure I'll be consulting my little green book of happy thoughts often. I think it makes me more anxious to think about how my job is not something I can easily take leave from, and that I have so many responsibilities with Manning Homes that Wes can't take over for me. Heck, he's got his hands full taking care of Ella and the house. I'm sure it will all work out, though, and if I need to take leave, I will. I'll figure out how to cross that bridge when it's in front of me.
For now, I'm feeling fairly okay (maybe a 2-3 on the 10 scale) and that I can live with just fine.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
I Don't Want to Say It
I don't want to say it...but of course I will. I believe the early signs of m/s are creeping in on me. Nothing too bad, though. I'd say a 1 or 1.5 on a scale of 10. Honestly, it has felt like a lump in my throat accompanied by a slight queasiness. I've been able to eat without much trouble and I'm hopeful that I'll stay at this stage for a little while longer. I'm still having occaisional cramping (is it less now?) and my boobs are even more sore than last week. The fatigue has been okay the past day or two, not that I would pass up the chance at a yummy nap. That sounds soooo good right now. Of course, it's only 8:30 in the morning.
Tomorrow at 1:30 p.m. is my first OB appointment. Unfortunately, it's with a PA (Melanie Tercko) and not my regular doctor, but I'm still very excited to go. I wonder if they'll do an ultrasound, but either way, it's likely too early to see the heartbeat. I hope they let me come back between 6 and 7 weeks for that. And while we're on the subject of doctors, I should go ahead and complain that Dr. Smith no longer delivers so I can only see her for the first 12 weeks. I'm nervous about finding another doctor I like as well, but I'm trying to not worry about it yet. I've got over 7 1/2 weeks for that.
Anyway, today's official statistics are that I'm 22 dpo, 5w1d, and my weight dropped back a little to 139.5 lbs this morning. I'm sure the doctor's weigh-in will have me near 145 since I'll be dressed and it will be after lunch. Grr.
Tomorrow at 1:30 p.m. is my first OB appointment. Unfortunately, it's with a PA (Melanie Tercko) and not my regular doctor, but I'm still very excited to go. I wonder if they'll do an ultrasound, but either way, it's likely too early to see the heartbeat. I hope they let me come back between 6 and 7 weeks for that. And while we're on the subject of doctors, I should go ahead and complain that Dr. Smith no longer delivers so I can only see her for the first 12 weeks. I'm nervous about finding another doctor I like as well, but I'm trying to not worry about it yet. I've got over 7 1/2 weeks for that.
Anyway, today's official statistics are that I'm 22 dpo, 5w1d, and my weight dropped back a little to 139.5 lbs this morning. I'm sure the doctor's weigh-in will have me near 145 since I'll be dressed and it will be after lunch. Grr.
Monday, January 7, 2008
The 7th Test
Yup, I did it. I peed on my 7th HPT this morning. Oh the power of my pee. It can turn a stark white landscape into a pink zebrafest of thin stripes. So fun. I think I only have one digital test left, though, so my addiction will be cured soon.
This weekend started off with me calling the after-hours OB on Friday night. Only 4w4d and I was already making emergency calls. I hope this isn't a pattern that I'll continue. I was having really sharp pains in my right shoulder. What could that be? An ectopic pregnancy, clearly.
Do I have a history of those? Um, no. Is that my only symptom? Um, yes. No severe cramping? Bleeding? Nope and nope. Get off the phone and stop wasting my time then. Oops. Sorry. Enjoy your dessert.
So Dr. McKinney wasn't that abrupt, but I did feel a little stupid. My official (self) diagnosis was that I had gas pains in my shoulder. Better a false alarm than a real one, right?
The good news is I'm still feeling pretty good - and I'm 5 weeks today! I think with Ella the boom was lowered somewhere between 5 1/2 and 6 weeks so I'm going to enjoy as much of this week as I can. I'm also doing my best to get "life" organized. I can't do much with taxes until all of our year-end forms and statements are available, but I'm in the process of cleaning up our investments. I have to do it in two shifts (one left to go tomorrow) to wait for all of the "sell" orders to clear first.
I am up-to-date on MH filing, and bills are in pretty good shape. I'm just going to do my best to take everything in small chunks and not let it all pile up too much. I would really like to get our 2007 Manning dvd done, but the last time I worked on it, I cried actual tears and wanted to throw our Mac Book off a very tall building. By deleting the trash files, I've essentially killed the dvd - which I've already put 50+ hours into - due to a bug in the software. I'm going to do my best just to finish it up as is, and try not to fume watching the last 2/3rds each time, noticing how none of the photos are cropped, centered or in motion as they should be. Okay, I'm getting livid again. Peanut doesn't need the stress, and neither do I.
I'm making some good progress on the nutrition front. I've discovered both Luna bars and Whole Wheet Cheerios have 100% of lots of the vitamins I need, including folate, so I'm working those in each day and my bladder doesn't seem to be too angry yet. I'm hoping that the Cheerios, at least, are something I can continue getting down even with m/s. Then there's also the Ensure route to take.
Oh, and my weight bumped up to 140.5 lbs today. Is that water weight? Or am I already taking the "eating for two" thing too far? On some level, I do feel like I need to pack in some winter fat stores against m/s, but 1.5 lbs is a bit much. Maybe I'll dial it back for lunch today.
This weekend started off with me calling the after-hours OB on Friday night. Only 4w4d and I was already making emergency calls. I hope this isn't a pattern that I'll continue. I was having really sharp pains in my right shoulder. What could that be? An ectopic pregnancy, clearly.
Do I have a history of those? Um, no. Is that my only symptom? Um, yes. No severe cramping? Bleeding? Nope and nope. Get off the phone and stop wasting my time then. Oops. Sorry. Enjoy your dessert.
So Dr. McKinney wasn't that abrupt, but I did feel a little stupid. My official (self) diagnosis was that I had gas pains in my shoulder. Better a false alarm than a real one, right?
The good news is I'm still feeling pretty good - and I'm 5 weeks today! I think with Ella the boom was lowered somewhere between 5 1/2 and 6 weeks so I'm going to enjoy as much of this week as I can. I'm also doing my best to get "life" organized. I can't do much with taxes until all of our year-end forms and statements are available, but I'm in the process of cleaning up our investments. I have to do it in two shifts (one left to go tomorrow) to wait for all of the "sell" orders to clear first.
I am up-to-date on MH filing, and bills are in pretty good shape. I'm just going to do my best to take everything in small chunks and not let it all pile up too much. I would really like to get our 2007 Manning dvd done, but the last time I worked on it, I cried actual tears and wanted to throw our Mac Book off a very tall building. By deleting the trash files, I've essentially killed the dvd - which I've already put 50+ hours into - due to a bug in the software. I'm going to do my best just to finish it up as is, and try not to fume watching the last 2/3rds each time, noticing how none of the photos are cropped, centered or in motion as they should be. Okay, I'm getting livid again. Peanut doesn't need the stress, and neither do I.
I'm making some good progress on the nutrition front. I've discovered both Luna bars and Whole Wheet Cheerios have 100% of lots of the vitamins I need, including folate, so I'm working those in each day and my bladder doesn't seem to be too angry yet. I'm hoping that the Cheerios, at least, are something I can continue getting down even with m/s. Then there's also the Ensure route to take.
Oh, and my weight bumped up to 140.5 lbs today. Is that water weight? Or am I already taking the "eating for two" thing too far? On some level, I do feel like I need to pack in some winter fat stores against m/s, but 1.5 lbs is a bit much. Maybe I'll dial it back for lunch today.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Pickle II is Now Peanut
We made a very momentous decision last night - what to call the baby until little he or she arrives? With Ella, it was Pickle, then Picklette once we found out the gender. And this baby will be...drumroll, please...Peanut! Not totally original, but my mom has called me Peanut my whole life and Wes seemed to like it. So there. One less decision to make.
Today is another good day! I definitely have a "ticking time bomb" feeling about me with regards to when the rest of my symptoms will hit. It's like I wake up in the morning and only open one eye, peek around the room and ask myself how I'm feeling. "I think I'm okay. Am I really okay? Nope, still don't feel sick. Yeah! Out of bed!!"
I still have a very calm, positive feeling about this pregnancy which I'm hoping is going to be prophetic for the next nine months. Where's a time machine when you need one?
I did my official weigh-in this morning, and I'm at 139 pounds. Hopefully, I won't drop too much and won't land at much more than 165 or 170 by the time Peanut chooses to arrive. I think we'll start doing weekly belly shots on Monday. I'm so curious to see if I pop sooner this time! With Ella, I don't think I really showed until 18 weeks or more.
Today, we made plans for a date night next Saturday and Wine Night at the end of the month. I feel so hesitant making plans, not knowing how I'll feel (or how I'll fake drinking wine in a small group...guess I'll have to lie about not feeling well with my IC or just let the cat out of the proverbial bag) but I can't keep life on hold, can I?
Wouldn't it be wonderful to be pregnant AND keep living a regular life this time? Almost seems like too much to ask for, but I'm going to ask anyway.
Today is another good day! I definitely have a "ticking time bomb" feeling about me with regards to when the rest of my symptoms will hit. It's like I wake up in the morning and only open one eye, peek around the room and ask myself how I'm feeling. "I think I'm okay. Am I really okay? Nope, still don't feel sick. Yeah! Out of bed!!"
I still have a very calm, positive feeling about this pregnancy which I'm hoping is going to be prophetic for the next nine months. Where's a time machine when you need one?
I did my official weigh-in this morning, and I'm at 139 pounds. Hopefully, I won't drop too much and won't land at much more than 165 or 170 by the time Peanut chooses to arrive. I think we'll start doing weekly belly shots on Monday. I'm so curious to see if I pop sooner this time! With Ella, I don't think I really showed until 18 weeks or more.
Today, we made plans for a date night next Saturday and Wine Night at the end of the month. I feel so hesitant making plans, not knowing how I'll feel (or how I'll fake drinking wine in a small group...guess I'll have to lie about not feeling well with my IC or just let the cat out of the proverbial bag) but I can't keep life on hold, can I?
Wouldn't it be wonderful to be pregnant AND keep living a regular life this time? Almost seems like too much to ask for, but I'm going to ask anyway.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
A Good Year Ahead
I'm convinced 2008 is going to be a good year.
How could it not be, with nearly 3 finished homes on the market to sell and a new baby on the way? I'm filled with hope today, January 3, 2008. The Manning Homes journey began in 2003 and while it has taken a little more time than we expected to really pick up steam, things are definitely looking up. This despite the housing depression of the late '00's which has brought doom and gloom to so many.
The even better news is that we saw two pink lines on Sunday, December 30 after four diligent months of trying for number two. It took six months of charting before September to get up my courage after the less-than-joyful experience of Ella's pregnancy, but here we are. Ready to go. I've done a lot of thinking, a lot of breathing and a lot of praying and I truly believe this time is going to be better.
For this first post, I'll back up to a couple of weeks ago...and I'll say now that I plan on writing about all things pregnancy for the next 36 1/2 weeks so I kind of hope no one really reads this. If so, they may wish they hadn't. Ha! During the time I have been readying myself to be pregnant again, I've often wished I kept a better record of what my days were really like the first time around with Ella. So here goes nothing. Maybe not remembering is a blessing. We'll see.
I ovulated on December 17, and I tried my best to ignore the anticipation of the inevitable coming of AF or a BFP in the weeks to follow. It was helpful that we had Ella's 2nd birthday, Christmas and my parents coming for a visit to distract me. On Friday, December 28 (11 DPO), I spotted and was sad. Of course, I still tested because I love to make myself more miserable, I guess. BFN. AF was surely going to show up on Saturday as scheduled. But then she didn't.
She didn't come Sunday either. Even better, my temp was up. So I tested again. And again. And again. Three tests can't lie, right? So I called Wes upstairs and shared the news. I could see he was nervous. Excited, sure, but nervous. Wow, we're really going through this again, weren't we? We hugged. We laughed nervous laughs. We decided to tell my parents right away so we could do it in person.
We had Ella hand the digital test to Nana in the kitchen. She thought it was a thermometer but quickly figured it out. "They're pregnant, hon," she said to Rocket. "Who's pregnant?" as he looks up from eBay online. "I am." says Wes. We laughed more and passed around bear hugs. Now Nana and Rocket have the nervous look, too. Guess they do remember the nights where I said out loud how I was suicidal and just wanted out of my body. Was it really all that bad? I hope not. This time I'm prepared.
I'm prepared, and I'm hopeful. Very hopeful.
Now to today. I'm 4w3d along and due on September 8, 2008. All of our immediate family knows the news, but we're waiting a bit longer to spread it further. I have an appointment on the 9th with a PA at my OB's office and I'm on the waiting list for Dr. Smith's cancellations. I hope that works out. My only symptoms are sore boobs and off-and-on cramping/pulling that happens all day. And my bladder/IC seem to be good so far. I'm still taking Elmiron, but only twice a day, instead of three times. Eventually, I think I'll stop all together. And I'm praying for remission. Please, oh please, let me go into remission.
I expect that the m/s will hit me about this time next week. We'll see. Until then, I'm enjoying each hour and doing what I can to stay positive. It really may not be as bad this time. And truly, what got me before was the anxiety and panic, not the nausea. I can handle this. I'm not alone and this time, I understand what that prize at the end is all about.
How could it not be, with nearly 3 finished homes on the market to sell and a new baby on the way? I'm filled with hope today, January 3, 2008. The Manning Homes journey began in 2003 and while it has taken a little more time than we expected to really pick up steam, things are definitely looking up. This despite the housing depression of the late '00's which has brought doom and gloom to so many.
The even better news is that we saw two pink lines on Sunday, December 30 after four diligent months of trying for number two. It took six months of charting before September to get up my courage after the less-than-joyful experience of Ella's pregnancy, but here we are. Ready to go. I've done a lot of thinking, a lot of breathing and a lot of praying and I truly believe this time is going to be better.
For this first post, I'll back up to a couple of weeks ago...and I'll say now that I plan on writing about all things pregnancy for the next 36 1/2 weeks so I kind of hope no one really reads this. If so, they may wish they hadn't. Ha! During the time I have been readying myself to be pregnant again, I've often wished I kept a better record of what my days were really like the first time around with Ella. So here goes nothing. Maybe not remembering is a blessing. We'll see.
I ovulated on December 17, and I tried my best to ignore the anticipation of the inevitable coming of AF or a BFP in the weeks to follow. It was helpful that we had Ella's 2nd birthday, Christmas and my parents coming for a visit to distract me. On Friday, December 28 (11 DPO), I spotted and was sad. Of course, I still tested because I love to make myself more miserable, I guess. BFN. AF was surely going to show up on Saturday as scheduled. But then she didn't.
She didn't come Sunday either. Even better, my temp was up. So I tested again. And again. And again. Three tests can't lie, right? So I called Wes upstairs and shared the news. I could see he was nervous. Excited, sure, but nervous. Wow, we're really going through this again, weren't we? We hugged. We laughed nervous laughs. We decided to tell my parents right away so we could do it in person.
We had Ella hand the digital test to Nana in the kitchen. She thought it was a thermometer but quickly figured it out. "They're pregnant, hon," she said to Rocket. "Who's pregnant?" as he looks up from eBay online. "I am." says Wes. We laughed more and passed around bear hugs. Now Nana and Rocket have the nervous look, too. Guess they do remember the nights where I said out loud how I was suicidal and just wanted out of my body. Was it really all that bad? I hope not. This time I'm prepared.
I'm prepared, and I'm hopeful. Very hopeful.
Now to today. I'm 4w3d along and due on September 8, 2008. All of our immediate family knows the news, but we're waiting a bit longer to spread it further. I have an appointment on the 9th with a PA at my OB's office and I'm on the waiting list for Dr. Smith's cancellations. I hope that works out. My only symptoms are sore boobs and off-and-on cramping/pulling that happens all day. And my bladder/IC seem to be good so far. I'm still taking Elmiron, but only twice a day, instead of three times. Eventually, I think I'll stop all together. And I'm praying for remission. Please, oh please, let me go into remission.
I expect that the m/s will hit me about this time next week. We'll see. Until then, I'm enjoying each hour and doing what I can to stay positive. It really may not be as bad this time. And truly, what got me before was the anxiety and panic, not the nausea. I can handle this. I'm not alone and this time, I understand what that prize at the end is all about.
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